


Lord Voldemort Mansplains Why the New Ghostbusters Film is Rubbish

by Maizeysugah



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mansplaining, Parody, ghostbusters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 22:16:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7481988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maizeysugah/pseuds/Maizeysugah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Dark Lord does not want to go see the new Ghostbusters film with Harry because...you know...women.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lord Voldemort Mansplains Why the New Ghostbusters Film is Rubbish

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just a silly way to vent a little frustration while I'm mending socks and undies on the couch in front of my laptop. I started reading about the new Ghostbusters film (I'm pumped to see it) and the vitriol for it is utterly repulsive! I just picked a few random quotes some male members of Something Awful made in regards to why this movie sucks (they haven't seen it yet) and why they aren't misogynists. I'll probably take this down soon, just venting, don't drag me please.

“Tell me again why you won’t go with me,” Harry asked him, tipping his head. 

Lord Voldemort shrugged. “…because I don’t like reboots. They’re stupid.” 

“Didn’t you go see Star Wars?” Harry looked around for hidden cameras, thinking this may be some sort of joke being played on him. “You did go see Star Wars, and Star Trek, and Judge Dredd - I went with you to see all of them!” 

The Dark Lord scoffed. “Those are different. Just explain to me why all the lead characters need to be women. Why are two of the women fat and none of them gorgeous?” 

Harry squinted at him. “Personally, I think they’re all beautiful women and all very talented and funny. But let me think back…so you’re saying all the male Ghostbusters were all fit and handsome in the original? Is that right? I’m trying to remember…” 

Slashed lips snapped shut, insulted. “Forget I said that! This has nothing to do with the cast being all women, I don’t care. I don’t want to see it because the first trailer looks awful! It’s a flop!” 

“It’s a flop because of a trailer? Have you seen most first trailers?” 

Voldemort continued, feeling Potter could not see the point he was trying to make. “And don’t get me started about Kevin Feige…Spy was only good because of the parts with Jude Law or Jason Statham in them.” 

Now it was Harry’s turn to gawk at him, equally insulted. “Really? I’m not even going to retort on this one if those were the only parts you liked about that film.” 

Holding up a finger like he’d just come up with a brilliant idea, Voldemort interjected. “What about this? There isn’t one man in this film who has two decent braincells to rub together! They are using Chris Hemsworth like he’s a piece of meat!” 

Harry stroked his chin with the tips of his fingers, not thoroughly convinced yet that this movie was a useless disaster. “So, of all the other films during the history of mankind that objectify women in them in this exact way, which is most of them, this is the one that you’ve decided to speak out about sexism in films with?” 

The Dark Lord threw his hands up in defeat. “Oh, forget it. It doesn’t seem to bother you that they’re ruining my childhood by making this terrible film!” 

Deciding not to laugh, Harry decidedly mocked him instead. “You have an ego so fragile that one film with women in it wipes out all remaining goodness about your childhood? I’m just trying to understand.” 

Voldemort walked away. “Sod off.” 

Harry waved a couple of tickets in the air, catching his friend, Hermione, by surprise. He looked back at the Dark Lord, who had peered back around the corner to see if maybe he was asking him if he’d like to go - but he wasn’t. “I’d ask you to come, too, but I don’t want to ruin your childhood. Bye.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> To add: just got back from seeing this with my son, Skye. We both loved it! It was pretty funny, Kate and Leslie were the best parts about it, also Chris Hemsworth was great. Kristin and Melissa were under utilized! But still very fun. The special effects were great (mostly) especially the ghosts, the audience we were sitting in gasped when the first ghost appeared on screen. I didn't see any stereotypes that offended me but I'm old so I may have missed them. It was fun, I'd give it a 7 out of 10, worth it to see in the theater.


End file.
